January 31, 2013
As usual, the NFL has called in the big names for the pregame activities and halftime shows. But who knows what will happen (right, Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake?). We asked our Mash crew to finish these statements:
Alicia Keys will sing the national anthem. I hope …
JULIANNE: … she doesn’t lip-sync (cough, cough, Beyoncé).
JOSH: … she doesn’t drag it out like every other person.
IEMAAN: … she messes up so we can all forget the recession and have something to giggle about for the next couple of days.
STEFFIE: … she doesn’t catch on fiyaaaaaaaaah.
CELENA: … no one, no one, no one will give as good a performance.
Beyoncé will star in the halftime show. I hope …
SHANTAE: … Justin Timberlake makes a guest appearance but DOES NOT take off half of her shirt.
PATRICE: … she doesn’t mess up or forget the lyrics. That’s embarrassing!
JULIANNE: … there aren’t any wardrobe malfunctions!
JOSH: … she makes Jay-Z join her. The halftime show needs more excitement!
IEMAAN: … all the single ladies put their telephones away (preferably in a box to the left) and their halos on for the performance. Beyoncé is amazing, and if I were a boy I’d attend the Super Bowl and watch her live because she’s irreplaceable.
GABBY: … she doesn’t use the “cold weather” as an excuse if she gets caught lip-syncing again.
CELENA: … she won’t lip sync again, ‘cause she better know that she’s not irreplaceable.
There are a lot of rumors going around about the halftime show. I hope …
SHANTAE: … Beyoncé doesn’t pull an Ashlee Simpson. This is realer than “SNL”—make baby Blue Ivy proud.
IEMAAN: … and pray to God that none of them involve Justin Bieber.
STEFFIE: … the rumors about fans and/or Destiny’s Child joining Beyoncé onstage are true! I either want a fan to steal the show or for Destiny’s Child to perform some of my favorite ‘90s girl band jams.
GABBY: … Justin Bieber performs!
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