Bria Cain,                            Jack Howard,                            Varnell Perez,
Rich South                                     York                                     Eisenhower 

         Amon Rizvi,                  Yazmin Dominguez,                       Walter Escobar Jr.,
Bartlett                            Huntley                                 Saint Patrick 

If college football players made $3,200 a year, what would they do with the money?

BRIA: Go to Walt Disney World.

JACK: Bribe schools to recruit them.

VARNELL: Eat something other than Ramen noodles.

AMON: Do their laundry.

YAZMIN: Spend it on all their football gear they will need for the next season. … Hey, that stuff is expensive!

WALTER: With this economy? Save it! They’ll need it for graduate school!


What’s the most unexpected side effect of life without the NBA?

BRIA: Excessive amounts of boredom.

JACK: That we have to desperately search for them.

VARNELL: Actually having a boyfriend for the winter season.

AMON: Teenage boy riots.

YAZMIN: Wasting our brains watching boring reruns in a lame attempt to replace the fun.

WALTER: Never thought I’d say it but im glad that it’s on lockout. The longer we wait, the older and slower LeBron gets!


The Chicago Rush offering Terrell Owens an Arena Football League contract is like …

BRIA: … giving Rosie O’Donnell another TV show.

JACK: … Donovan McNabb still playing. … Oh, wait!

VARNELL:… Michael Jordan playing baseball.

AMON: … Santa hosting a tea party.

YAZMIN: … asking an old man to play football with a bunch of little kids.

WALTER: … hiring Will Smith to cast in a cheap opera.


Caption this pic.

BRIA: “OMG! OMG! I’m such a fan of yours! Would you mind signing my back rolls?!”

JACK: “Wow, that’s why I cover my tattoos with long sleeve shirts.”

VARNELL: “Awesome shirt bro—OH GAWD.”

AMON: “I throw my hands up in the air some time, sayin AYEEEE O’, you are my HEEEEROOO!”

YAZMIN: “If I give you an unenthusiastic high five will you at least put a shirt on?”

WALTER: Crazy dude: “Yeaahhh man!!!” Bears player: “Noooo man!!!”

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About The Mash

The Mash is the Chicago Tribune's newspaper and website written for teens, by teens. The paper is distributed for free every other Thursday at Chicago-area high schools and is written largely by high school students.

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