Sports

Tylar Thomas,        Bria Cain,
Simeon              Rich South 

Paige Smart,          Walter Escobar Jr.,
Whitney Young          Saint Patrick 

Iemaan Rana,
Whitney Young

If Matt Forte likes to play “Call of Duty,” what does 

Jay Cutler like to play?

TYLAR: “Dance Dance Revolution.”

BRIA: “My Little Pony” on Nintendo DS.

PAIGE: “Black Ops!!” … Oh, wait, is that the same thing? Crap.

WALTER: “Madden 2012.” Since he struggles in real life, he plays his dream self in the game.

IEMAAN: Hello Kitty: Happy Party Pals. Nobody loses so Cutler doesn’t have to worry about his competition issues.

 

What is Occupy Tebow?

TYLAR: Somebody please put him on the field so he can stop pretending he’s the coach.

BRIA: Tim Tebow’s favorite Kung Fu move.

PAIGE: Who or what is that? If I don’t know, probably not important enough to occupy.

WALTER: Occupy Tebow means distract/irritate him because he’s a beast-dog.

IEMAAN: A massive global educational awareness movement. Better sooner than never. 

 

 

Who said, “I heard he’s a big teddy bear. I might pick him

up and burp him.”?

TYLAR: Jack Black to the Kung Fu Panda.

BRIA: Carlos Zambrano.

PAIGE: Hoopz!! … I’m right, aren’t I?

WALTER: Packers linebacker Clay Mathews to Jay Cutler.

IEMANN: Someone who fails to realize that teddy bears do not need burping.

 

Caption this pic.

TYLAR: “Bad Teacher 2.”

BRIA: “Wow! So are you telling me there aren’t any hot wings left in the back room? You’ve got to be kidding me!”

PAIGE: “Yes, I’m still dating Dwyane Wade. Surprised? So am I.”

WALTER: “Since my boyfriend’s sitting out, I’ll try coaching the women’s league!”

IEMAAN: I’m famous for being someone’s girlfriend! Want an autograph?

 

 

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The Mash is the Chicago Tribune's newspaper and website written for teens, by teens. The paper is distributed for free each Thursday at Chicago-area high schools and is written largely by high school students.

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