April 19, 2012
Ryan Calvin, Rich Central Anna Marketti, Homewood-Flossmoor
Why did Rodney the Pomeranian pick the Phoenix Coyotes to beat the Blackhawks in their playoff series?
RYAN: He has to show alliance with his fellow canines.
ANNA: His mom told him he had to be nice to his cousins.
AMON: Pure stupidity …
JACK: They’re a little more than kin, and the pick’s less than kind.
What will be the next Ozzie Guillen scandal?
RYAN: He pulls a Kanye West at the ESPYs.
ANNA: Little does everyone know, he practices his fast speech in the locker room when no one’s there.
AMON: Tag teaming with Ozzie Osbourne, obviously.
JACK: When reporters start comprehending what Ozzie’s said in the past.
Who should the Saints hire as head coach while Sean Payton’s suspended?
RYAN: Drew Brees. He could be the Bill Russell of the NFL.
ANNA: Lady Gaga. She’ll come up with some great plays after a 10-minute dance break.
JACK: Dog the Bounty Hunter.
What would be the downside to dating Brian Urlacher?
RYAN: Just like LeBron, he will probably never get you a ring.
ANNA: Realizing you’re dating Brian Urlacher.
AMON: If you ever go out dancing together, his large feet may crush not only a few toes, but the entire foot.
JACK: Trying to read his signals.
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