December 6, 2012
Pick an athlete and tell us what’s on his or her holiday wish list.
AALIYAH: We all know LeBron James is wishing for Joakim Noah’s hair this Christmas.
KILEY: Jay Cutler wishes for a new offensive line.
PERRY: D-Rose—a new MCL after he tore his old one.
KASEY: Every athlete, and probably every basketball fan, wishes that LeBron could get his ring revoked this Christmas.
GABRIELLE: Secretly, Joakim Noah and I have the same wish list: Uggs, different Baby Lips Chapstick flavors and colored felt-tip pens from Papermate.
Milwaukee Bucks player Drew Gooden gave free tickets to a fan who tweeted a pic of a Bulls jersey in a toilet. Come up with something creative to do with Gooden’s jersey.
AALIYAH: Someone should Photoshop a picture of a matador holding a Bucks jersey while a bull prepares to run towards it.
KILEY: Run it over with a BULLdozer.
PERRY: Make a bonfire out of it.
KASEY: Start a movement to get everyone to stop buying his jerseys. They will eventually stop being sold.
GABRIELLE: Glue it onto a busy highway for a bunch of cars and trucks to drive over.
If Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa can be on the Hall of Fame ballot, then …
AALIYAH: … it’s obviously OK to take enhancers. No big deal.
KILEY: … Lance Armstrong should get his titles back.
PERRY: … steroids might as well be legal.
KASEY: … Joan Rivers can be on the ballot for “Best Aging.”
GABRIELLE: … they would be on the Hall of Fame?
AALIYAH: Northwestern’s Willie the Wildcat looks like an adorable, mischievous cat ready to have fun on the field. Kansas’ Willie looks like a killer cat ready to bite someone’s head off.
KILEY: TWo—since one is in the Big 10 and one is in the Big 12.
PERRY: K-State’s Willie looks like a shark out of water, while Northwestern’s Willie looks like a raccoon.
KASEY: I’d love to go to Northwestern.
GABRIELLE: Simple. Northwestern’s Willie looks like a cat-dog and K-State’s Willie looks like a cat-shark.
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