Sports

Jordan Lamas, Kennedy
Stats
Favorite team: White Sox
Favorite player: Derrick Rose
Best fan moment: 2005 World Series
Worst fan moment: Bears’ Super Bowl loss

 

Josh Kalamotousakis, Kennedy
Stats
Favorite team: White Sox
Favorite player: Walter Payton
Best fan moment: Being in the United Center for the Blackhawks’ first game back in the playoffs during the Kane-Toews era
Worst fan moment: Bears’ Super Bowl loss

Compare your opponent to someone from the sports world. 
Jordan: 
Luke Walton. Sure, you’re the worst player in the NBA, but hey, you’re making millions to spend two minutes running around confused and trying not to score in your own basket, and the other 58 minutes on a bench. Living the high life. I respect that.

Josh: Miles Austin. Sure, he was with Kim Kardashian for awhile, but in the end he was just FRIEND-ZONED!

 

Write a want ad for the Bears coaching position.
Jordan: 
“Wanted: Head coach. Must have led your former team to five straight playoff appearances and a Super Bowl win. Must be named ‘Ditka.’ Others need not apply.”

Josh: “Wanted: NFL head coach. Must be a former Super Bowl champion, have red hair and own the nickname ‘Chuckie.’ “

 

The Harlem Globetrotters play a game on an ice rink during their “You Write the Rules” Tour. Come up with another rule-bender.
Jordan: 
Cross-checking is allowed.

Josh: Let them use sticks. That way the team they always beat up on can get some revenge.

 

How would you get fans to watch the struggling NBC Sports Network?
Jordan: 
Follow ESPN and run something similar to “SportsNation.”

Josh: Let Charles Barkley run the network. With that golf swing and those speaking skills, he can do no wrong.

Forget MVP—who should be the NFL’s Least Valuable Player?
Jordan: 
Tony Romo.

Josh: I have to agree with my opponent here, Tony Romo has earned it.



 

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Maura Wall Hernandez is digital editor of The Mash.

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