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(Che'mari Kent)

(Che’mari Kent)

By Che’mari Kent, Riverside Brookfield

Sunday August 28,2016 was the day that changed my life forever. I remember EVERYTHING like it was just yesterday. 

After waking myself up because it felt as if I overslept, I saw my grandmother in my room putting my dog back in her cage. As I wiped my eyes and look into my grandmother’s face I never would’ve thought she was about to tell me the worst news ever. I remember waking up with one of the biggest smiles on my face because I knew that I would be starting my junior year at a new school the following day. I said, “ Granny, what time is it? because I have a nail appointment at 10:30?” and the look on her face kind of worried me. She sat on my bed and gave me hug, she replied and said “Your daddy died last night.” I immediately froze in shock and she said “ Someone killed him.” I instantly started crying, I continuously screamed “ Nooo, this can’t be true.. Why!” I still had hope that this wasn’t reality I ran through the house screaming “Where’s my phone, this can’t be happening I just talked to my daddy last night, I NEED MY PHONE” at this point I’m yelling and I’m very frustrated because I can’t find my phone. My mom then hands me my phone and I quickly dial my dad’s number. It rang for a long time before going to the voicemail, so I texted him a thousands time but unfortunately, I never got a reply. I then started crying which made my mom tear up. I walked out of my room as I was approached by my aunt, uncle and granddad. I broke down saying “ I told him to go in the house, he called me last night and said he was going in the house.. Why didn’t he listen to me” My grandmother is now rubbing my back as my aunt is cuddling me in her arms. When I heard the news my heart broke. I unlocked my phone and it was flooded with phone calls, voicemails, text messages, and notifications from my social media accounts. I still couldn’t believe that my dad was no longer here. My dad was my first love, whenever I needed him he was always there. The morning he was murdered was the same day we all were suppose to go out to breakfast. As I tried to pull myself together my phone rings and the name read “ Auntie Pat” I didn’t answer because I already knew what she was about to say. My grandma comes in and says “ Do you want to go see your daddy?” I replied nervously with a simple yes. As I started getting ready tears started pouring down my face. I ended up pulling myself together and I headed to the car. The whole car ride was silent. As we pulled up to my aunt’s house my heart sank to the bottom of my stomach. I got out the car and as I saw everyone on my aunt’s porch I knew that this was actually true. As soon as I got of the car my cousin came and hugged me, while hugging her all I could do was cry. I felt so empty not seeing my dad on the porch along with everyone else. I walked in the house to crying from my other grandmother ( my dad’s mom). She hugged me and we cried together. I was ready to go home after about thirty minutes of being there because everyone just kept talking about my dad and how he died. Sitting in my room my phone rang, it was one of my bestfriends she said “ Come open the door I’m outside” I said there confused because I told everyone that I didn’t want to bothered but I still ended up letting her in. She came in with 2 teddy bears and some Popeyes. I wasn’t in the mood to eat but I forced myself too. She stayed for about twenty minutes I walked her out and crawled in my bed. As soon as I got comfortable I heard the doorbell ring.. I walk in the living room and one of my close friends was here. She brought me my favorite candy Kit-Kats, my favorite ice cream Cookies and Cream, some perfume and a hoodie from Victoria Secret as well as a candle for my mommy. We sat and talked about all the memories we shared together with my dad. After she left I decided to listen to all my daddy’s favorite song and I soon fell asleep. I woke up to my bestfriend laying next to me, we got up and she helped me look through my pictures. We gathered all of the pictures we had of my dad and we went back in my room. As I looked at the pictures I felt myself starting to cry but I cried away all of my tears earlier. I slept for the rest of the day. The next day was Monday, the day I was suppose to start school. We went to my aunt’s house so we can start making arrangements; even after making the arrangements everything still felt so unreal. September 8, 2016 was the first time I saw my dad’s lifeless body in a casket. As I approached the casket I stared at him for a long time then I cried because as I kissed him and he didn’t kiss back I just knew that this wasn’t a bad dream. I sat in the front row and just stared at him and the only thing that went through my mind was my daddy is gone forever. I felt so hurt and alone because I was my dad’s only child and he was all I knew for 16 years. After the visitation we headed to my aunt’s house to do a ballon release and a candle lit. I enjoyed reliving all of the memories we had and being surrounded by my family and friends but then my mood changed because I knew that the next day would be the last time I’ll see my dad’s face. The morning of September 9, 2016 was a dragged. I texted my dad a really long paragraph even though I knew he couldn’t read it We drove over to my aunt’s so that we could get into the funeral car. We arrived to the church and my stomach turned into a knot. Sitting in the family room I was feeling just fine but as we started lining up to march in as a family I felt weak. As soon as I heard the music I felt my eyes water. As I sat in the first row, my body calmed down. Hearing and seeing my family members break down I felt numb to the situation. Once I took a glare at my dad I just started screaming “ Daddy, wake up, please just wake up daddy I need you” I started crying and I felt someone pick me up bridal style. Not knowing at the time who it was I screamed “Let me go, put me down.” As I walked out of the church in the arms of my cousin I was followed behind by my mom, grandma and aunts. I started to go in a daze and all I remember hearing my grandma say is “Mari, I know this is hard but you have to calm down I don’t want you to make yourself sick” I drank some water and walked back into the church. I saw two of my friends sitting next to my cousins and I smiled knowing that I had some of my friends here to support me during this rough time. Throughout the rest of the service I comforted my little cousins and my aunts since I had managed to pull myself together. When we went around for the last time to view the body I broke down again. I remember trying to pick up my dad’s lifeless body as I said to him “Daddy please just wake up, I love you!” The car ride to the cemetery was silent because everyone ended up taking a nap. As my dad’s body was being lowered into the ground I didn’t have anymore tears left in my body. I released 8 doves to remember the life of my dad. My dad was my first love, my bodyguard, my protector, my twin, my listening ear, my personal ATM and my bestfriend. Everyday, I wish i could look his killer in the face and tell him that taking my daddy’s life was a mistake. I still find myself texting my dad’s phone knowing that he can’t reply but I guess that’s my way of mourning over his death. My daddy didn’t deserve to die the way he did. I lost a part of me, a piece of my heart is gone. What a bond to break, what I live to take, I miss my dad more and more everyday. I’m living for two now so I’m going to make sure that I accomplish everything that I told my dad I was going to do. My dad will forever live through me and I’ll forever make him proud to call me his one and only Princess. 

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